Starring: Terence Hill, Bud Spencer

Director: Enzo Barboni
Released: 1971

Mood: If your work week has been way too mentally challenging and you need to throw on a funny Western that makes almost no sense so it’s okay if you don’t get it and don’t even try.

Trinity and Bambino are up to their old antics in Trinity is Still My Name!

After watching They Call Me Trinity, I saved this sequel for a full year because a) I knew it was going to be really good, and b) I also knew there’d come a time when I needed a really good Western. Also c) I had no idea that it’s been exactly one year, but it sure adds to the storytelling.

Anyway, I desperately needed a really good Western this week because I’ve been in what feels like an ENDLESS F*CKING WESTERN SLUMP. Not only were the last few movies I watched only ‘okay’, but I’ve been labouring through a frustratingly tedious Western novel AND when I put on a new Western the other night, I had to turn it off after 20 minutes because I couldn’t handle another disappointment. I was rapidly losing interest in my beloved genre!

Trinity is Still My Name set everything right in my world. It’s high action, high physical comedy, and cheeky hijinx galore. It’s slightly less perfect than the first movie, but I could watch Bud Spencer pound on hordes of bad guys all day long. Sounds like one fine day.

Trinity is Still My Name sort of picks up where They Call Me Trinity left off. It’s not a clean match-up, but you don’t need to think about it too hard.

Bambino (Bud Spencer) is walking through the desert when he comes upon four outlaws. He talks them into giving him ammo, only to arm himself and steal their freshly cooked beans – and a horse. Not long afterward, the outlaws have just cooked up another pot of beans when Trinity rides up to their little camp. The men try to steal his horse, but instead he steals their beans and takes off.

Trinity and Bambino begrudgingly reunite at their parents’ home. The four outlaws show up, but are quickly overpowered and chased away, minus their guns and money, by Trinity’s mother. Then for some reason the father pretends he’s dying, and insists the boys work together.

Everything after that is kind of bizarre, but in a way that you just sit back and accept because it almost makes more sense that the plot makes no sense.

Bambino starts teaching Trinity how to be a horse thief, but then they go into a saloon and Trinity uses his speed and stealth to defeat a gambler at both cards and gunplay. Then they disguise themselves as federal agents, and somehow end up in San Jose saving monks from gun runners. And of course, there’s a hot farmer’s daughter who wants a piece of Trinity.

What’s NOT to love about Trinity is Still My Name?

Bud Spencer as Bambino is what gamers call a ‘meat shield’, and I live for it. He’s big and stoic and strong, so you put him out front when you go into battle and he singlehandedly clears most of the onslaught.

When he’s not swinging his fists, Spencer excels in doing a lot with a little, saying everything with a pointed glare. His timing is enjoyable, and Bambino is a fantastic antihero. He’s also the perfect balance for his brother, who would be annoyingly pretty if he wasn’t so damn funny.

Terence Hill has this bright-eyed, lithe-bodied, golden retriever-like delivery that makes it hilarious when he outwits bad guys. But at the same time as he’s giving you random acts of shirtlessness, he’s not afraid to get ugly. Trinity is constantly filthy. He hops into a washtub recently vacated by Bambino, and sinks right into the nasty, inexplicably green bathwater.

And then there’s the way Trinity and Bambino eat, which is a recurring gag in Trinity is Still My Name. Every single table scene involves two or more people feasting like rabid animals, grunting through mouthfuls of half-masticated cow. The shots linger on the sweaty, dirty characters in that gritty Spaghetti Western way, while the characters poke fun at the genre by doing silly and utterly pointless things – like Trinity upgrading his preferred mode of transportation from a travois to a reclining chair fashioned atop his saddle.

My favourite thing about the Trinity movies is the action. If you love a good ol’ Western brawl, this will give you everything you want and more.

Even though some of the stunt work in the two massive punch-out sequences is ridiculously over-the-top, it’s also exceptionally entertaining. Trinity is quick and agile, while Bambino’s go-to move is a big fist bonk on the head, like Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride.

Hill and Spencer did all their own stunts for the first movie, so it’s pretty safe to assume they did them again there. Check out two of my favourites: the hilarious slap scene, and all nine glorious minutes of the final fight.

My one criticism would be that if you’re used to modern fast-paced comedies and action movies with their constant pratfalls and one-liners, Trinity‘s pacing and plot choices can feel a bit lackadaisical. But that’s the whole point of the character, so doing whatever for no obvious reason matches his vibe, and it’s not even really a criticism.

Trinity is Still My Name is still to date the fourth most popular Italian-made movie of all time (by box office admissions), after A Fistful of Dollars and right above For a Few Dollars More. You should watch it. You won’t regret it.